Rainy day is a normal way, but just because it rains does not mean there should be no balance- sunlight comes and the rainbow flashes itself out. Bringing out that feeling of lightness of heart, feeling of content, feeling of entitlement, feeling of happiness, or feeling of achievement.

It is like drinking tea, water and milk must balance, together with the right quantity of sugar, each sip of it makes it sweater and stronger to one’s emotions.

Blessing is when a man and a woman come together to be a couple and a further blessing is when a child is welcomed- joyous becomes the moment.

Forces unknown or known, either through he or she side builds a rift in the bridge of connection of the opposite genders. It gives birth to a new resolution, of one staying away from the other. Either be it through separation or other tougher means like divorce.

The reason for such a resolve is for ensuring peace, and also as a means to heal, to move on and be something more, at a better place or situation more than before. It is a matter of elevation, rising, walking a step higher in the staircase of life.

Though that may be it, we might want separation or divorce, does not put the finality to it, our little creation blessed by Him above, must be catered for. We want not to turn away from our joy, our beautiful or handsome child that came from us. We want what is better for them.

We appreciate the fact, that were it not for us, her part, his part there would not have been he or she as our child, and we each want to feel part and belonging to the life of the child. Their out bringing, where they stay, what they eat, where they study at and what play do they engage in. We want to see them, we want them to engage in extracurricular activities like maybe playing the piano, playing tennis, swimming, flourishing to the creation of sweet tunes from the violin or even enhancing brain activity through playing chess.

Similarly also, as a means of giving thanks to the happy times spent together, you do wish to leave each other while still respectful to each other and avoiding any means of conflict coming between you two. The dream for harmony existing still.

What that is important in taking care of the child is the issue of: custody, maintenance and access. For understanding purposes, a child is one who is below the age of 18 years.

To cure this question of the how to the question of: custody of the child, maintenance of the child and custody of the child, we answer it with a parental responsibility agreement.

Where for the example, the parents, now former spouses, can agree through a written document and say perhaps:

  • The child stays with the mother.
  • School fees is paid by the father together with extracurricular activities.
  • Home needs are paid by the mother.
  • Vacations are paid by the father.
  • The father gets access to the child, on weekends from 8 A.M to 3 P.M and on those days they should cater to their needs.
  • On weekdays, decisions from the mother take precedence while on the weekend decisions of the father takes first position.
  • On Sundays, from 3 P.M- 5 P.M both parents do an activity together with the child.

Such examples, is the solution to parents, now former spouses who intend to part ways but still want to be part of the life of their child. A parental responsibility agreement is the answer.

To end: for who they follow the wind, they will reap big.   

Photo by Yan Krukau on Pexels.          


Article 53, Constitution of Kenya, 2010.

Section 33, The Children Act, 2022.

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